The Effects Of Lack Of Sleep On Relationships

Sleep divorce is a growing new trend - and more common than you think! For many couples sleeping side by side is an important way for them to feel connected, but for many reasons sharing a bed together can be anything but cosy and comforting. Before you consider separate rooms, read on…

While research has linked lack of sleep with increased risks of cancer, heart disease and obesity, it is now finding that it is also detrimental to relationships. As more than a third of us are sleep deprived, we shouldn’t be surprised if our love lives are suffering. Sleep deficiency makes you less forgiving when your partner doesn’t behave the way you would prefer. You snap, making abrupt comments that can damage your relationship. So, it’s no surprise that continuous poor sleep can lead to relationship troubles. Signs sleep deprivation may be negatively influencing your relationship include growing resentment, more arguments than usual, a decline in enthusiasm, and reduced rapport. An Ohio University study found that those couples who slept less than seven hours a night were more likely to argue in a hostile, negative way.

How to avoid sleep divorce

You first need to identify why you’re not sleeping well. Is your sleep pattern irregular? Does your partner snore?

Problem
Your partner tosses and turns a lot in their sleep.
Solution
Make sure your bed gives each person adequate room to sleep, choose one as large as your bedroom allows. If your mattress is uncomfortable, it can lead to restless sleep. In total you spend about one third of your life on your mattress, so it plays a big part in your general health and well being, not to mention your day-to-day energy levels, alertness and mood. That’s why it’s important to look for signs when it’s time to change a mattress. On average mattresses should be replaced every eight years. For couples that prefer different firmnesses, split tension and zip and link beds are available.

Problem
Your partner snores, waking you at night.
Solution
If your partner snores it could be a sign of a health condition. If that has been checked and the snoring is run-of-the-mill, try anti-snore pillows, sprays or nasal strips to help them breathe more easily. Also discourage them from drinking alcohol before bed. If your partner’s snoring persists, try foam earplugs.

Problem
Your sleep routines don’t match.
Solution
Ideally try finding a bedtime that works for both of you. However If you like an early night and your partner is a night owl this can be tricky. Keep your bedroom as dark as possible and wear a black out bamboo eye mask, this way, if your partner comes to bed late or reads a book you won’t be disturbed by the light.

Problem
Your bedroom doesn’t feel relaxing.
Solution
Ensure your bedroom is a comfortable space with minimal clutter, and keep work, laptops, phones and televisions out of the bedroom. This creates a much more relaxing and romantic atmosphere, and will give you both a better night’s sleep.

Problem
Bedroom temperature.
Solution
This is a big issue in many relationships. The ideal temperature to fall asleep is 16-18°C, however partners can find that too hot or too cold for them. Firstly, make the switch to bamboo bedding, it is heat regulating and moisture wicking, so more likely to keep you at a comfortable temperature. If your partner prefers more heat, there are a few simple adjustments you can try. Double-fold a blanket and lay in on top of the duvet on their side, or invest in a dual-control electric blanket.

By getting to the bottom of why you can’t sleep and making positive lifestyle changes, you’ll hopfully also find an improvement in your relationship.